


Strange Dreams

by piratequeengin



Category: DCU
Genre: First Time, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-28 06:26:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piratequeengin/pseuds/piratequeengin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nightwing is captured by Hugo Strange and is administered a hallucinogen that makes him reveal some very intriguing secrets to the good Doctor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Dreams

It didn’t matter how many times Dick told himself that he wouldn’t be at Bruce’s beck and call. The fact of the matter was that however many years had passed, he had been first and foremost a Robin and he couldn’t ignore Bruce’s call. It was like it was in his blood or something. If Bruce needed him the he would be there, and damn anything else.

This was one of those times. Bruce was out of town on a JLA mission but had heard rumours from various sources that Hugo Strange was back in Gotham and working up towards something big, something called Operation Trojan. That’s how Dick ended up back in Gotham, trawling some god forsaken industrial estate by the docks, scoping out the area and looking for clues as to what Strange might be up to.

So far he’d found fuck all.

“Batman – the compound is all clear. We both know Strange is capable of meticulously covering his tracks and hiding his base, but this feels off. It’s too quiet.”

“Could be a trap. Stay vigilant, Nightwing.”

“Roger that.”

Of course, there was also the possibility that the intel they had received had simply been wrong. But being in this particular line of work meant that you came to rely on your instincts a lot and Dick’s instincts were telling him that there was something not quite right about this whole thing.

Just as he was about to leave a cargo truck drove onto the industrial estate.

Dick hesitated, but only for a moment. This was more like it. Some sign of life, a lead that Dick could investigate. Just knowing that there was some sort of activity taking place on this industrial estate made Dick feel a lot more relaxed about the whole mission.

“A shipment’s just arrived – I’m going in to take a closer look.”

“Fine. Keep me posted on any developments.”

Cutting swiftly through the shadows, Dick tracked the cargo truck straight to a large warehouse at the very edge of the estate, closest to the docks. There were three security guards waiting, no more but Dick didn’t want to push his luck. He couldn’t be sure of what other security measures were in place, and although he could only see three security personnel, he had no doubt there were more crawling all over the estate, ready to appear at the first sign of trouble.

He’d have to make do with the distance – good thing Bruce’s gear was always made from the latest tech that Wayne Enterprises had to offer. From his perch, Dick started taking photos of the crates that were being unloaded from the truck. Cadmus Labs. Was that who Strange was working with? It was a bad sign if it was. Dick was about to make a note to further investigate any contact Hugo Strange might have had with Lex Luthor when he heard the tiniest of clicks.

Suddenly Dick found himself surrounded by smoke. Too late – he’d inhaled a lungful before he could’ve held his breath or reached for his breathalyzer. Apparently that was more than enough. Within seconds Dick found his vision blurring as his head and limbs began to feel heavy.

The last thing he could remember before he went under was the sound of someone saying, “It looks we caught a little bat with our trap.”

***

Dick flittered in and out of dreams and nightmares for what felt like days – so long he couldn’t always quite tell what was real and what wasn’t anymore. Some of them felt very real. Dreams of nights spent patrolling with Damian, of days spent as a beat-cop in Blüdhaven and of brief afternoons spent pottering about with Alfred in the kitchen. Dreams of petty fights and eventual make-ups with Bruce. All of them so like his real life that he sometimes believed he was there. With them. His family.

Other dreams were more insidious. Almost-truths. Almost-truths reflecting his deepest desires; his darkest fears. In some, he could hear Bruce snarl words that cut him open and laid him bare. You’re a failure Dick. I should’ve never taken you in. Their lives are on your head. Turn in your cape and get out of my sight. In his very worst nightmares, his new family was dead. His fault. Always all his fault.

In others, Bruce said things Dick had always longed to hear. I’m so proud of you Dick, I couldn’t have wished for a better partner. Not that he’d never said such things before; but such admissions were so rare Dick sometimes wondered if he’d imagined them. And there were more. Dreams in which Bruce confided in him, trusted him with his plans and his fears and his thoughts rather than relying on Dick’s self-taught Bruce-reading skills. Dreams in which he said I love you, I’m sorry and please forgive me. Sometimes those ‘I love yous’ took on a distinctively non-paternal tone, whispered harshly between heated kisses, their bodies pressed close as they grappled with one another – in Dick’s dreams they made love like they fought and Dick couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was something wrong with him for not wanting it any other way. All of his dreams tormented him, but these were the ones he was most ashamed of, the ones Bruce could never ever know about. Waking up from one of these dreams was the worst, because these were the dreams that gave Hugo Strange another weapon in his arsenal. Another useful little tid-bit of information through which Strange could attack Bruce, could attack his family. Dick wasn’t exactly sure how, but he had no doubt Strange would use all of these dark fears and closely-held wishes to bring down the Batman. And Dick couldn’t allow that.

He had to escape. But wandering as he did between dreams, memory and reality, he found it hard to focus on the problem at hand. Of course the drugs didn’t help. Not only did they seem to induce a feverish state of dreaming and hallucination, they also seemed to bring out the worst of his anxieties and insecurities. Whenever he was sober enough to recall where he was and what he needed to do, only one thought seemed to come.

Batman would have figured it out by now.

Strange wasn’t always there, observing him. Sometimes he was left alone to his own devices. These were the times when he tried his hardest to concentrate and find a way out. He’d deduced that the padded cell he was being held in was underground. An orderly came to feed him twice a day (administering the drug in the process). Showers took place once a day and were supervised by two orderlies. One time he’d knocked out both orderlies – not in the hopes of escaping so much as in the hopes of having a few minutes to map out the compound and count the number of guards in Strange’s employ. From there it would be easier to plan a proper escape – or it would have been, if they hadn’t doubled Dick’s drug intake.

As a result Dick never got very far before the hallucinations came, and the few times he was able to maintain some semblance of sobriety was when Strange was there watching him. It seemed that unless there was someone real to anchor him in the real world, he was completely lost— cast adrift in a sea of memories and fantasies with no compass to lead him back.

There was something important he had to do. Something to do with Bruce. He had to…

Memories of Bruce half undressed after patrol came completely unbidden. God, he’d forgotten how completely awkward the whole thing had become after he turned fifteen or so. Holy embarrassing boners, Batman. The tiny shorts hadn’t helped much either. Dick remembered way too many nights spent rushing to the showers after patrol before Bruce could notice something was up. Of course, those half-glimpses at Bruce’s scarred torso had been provided for some pretty intense wank fodder for years to come. In those fantasies Bruce always caught up with him in the showers before he could finish getting off. Dick would be nervous, shivering with anticipation and Bruce would push him back against the wall and he’d be naked and larger than life and Dick would barely be able to breathe but Bruce would be there, murmuring things warmly and wetly against his ear, reassuring him and calming him down before ordering him to get on his knees. And Dick would do it because hearing Bruce give orders sent a jolt of arousal straight through his spine, spoke to something completely primal in him and he couldn’t submit fast enough and he wanted to taste him and take him in his mouth and he’d say…

“Pleasant dreams?”

That wasn’t what he would say. That wasn’t –

“Bruce…?”

The voice that answered him killed his erection faster than a cold shower.

“I’m afraid not,” said Hugo Strange.

Dick sat up with a jolt as he realised he’d been palming the erection in his trousers that entire time. And Strange had seen him. Masturbating.

Dick thought he might throw up.

“Like watching, do you?” he said, but the snide tone fell flat and he was too sickened by the situation to truly carry off an unbothered appearance. Though he had his back towards Strange he could feel the man’s eyes on him, making his flesh creep. He thought of all the dreams of Bruce he’d had and wondered how many Strange had been present for. He knew knowing the answer wouldn’t help, but couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“How…how often have you seen me do that?”

If Strange had noted Dick’s discomfort he made no sign of it.

“You’re a man in his mid-twenties. I’d say you masturbate an entirely average amount of times per day. It’s all rather tedious really, I must say I am far more interested by the things you say than what you do. It’s all incredibly telling. Fascinating stuff.”

“Fuck you.”

“So it is true, what I deduced about you,” continued Strange as if Dick hadn’t said anything at all, “not that I had any doubt on the matter – I am after all an expert in my field if I may so humbly say so, and you’re an open book. Child’s play compared to your mentor. Still, it is gratifying to have ones theories confirmed. What do you suspect his dreams look like, Mr. Grayson?”

That was the other thing. Another failure upon his head. By allowing himself to be captured and imprisoned by Hugo Strange, he’d revealed his identity – and by proxy, everyone else’s – to a very dangerous man. True, Hugo Strange had had his suspicions about Bruce Wayne for the longest time, but now he had concrete proof.

Dick stayed silent for a moment, his face flushing at the memories of his latest dreams. He wasn’t sure what was worse, being forced to re-hash his own fantasies with Strange or being psychologically poked and prodded with the phantom of Bruce Wayne.

“He doesn’t have dreams, just nightmares,” Dick answered finally. It wasn’t quite the truth, but if Bruce had any dreams at all he didn’t share them with Dick. Dick knew about the nightmares though. After all, they had nightmares in common.

“Oh no, I’m certain the Bat has dreams too. I’d be quite curious to have him in my chamber – you’re a poor substitute, but unfortunately you’re also all I have to work with. I find, though, that I’m still learning lots of marvellous new things regardless. Isn’t that grand? Now tell me, what do you think your mentor desires? What are his deepest hopes and dreams?”

Unable to look the man in the eye, Dick compromised by looking directly past Strange’s left shoulder. He felt like if he could only just block out Strange’s voice he’d be able to concentrate on escape, but he couldn’t. Even as he was trying to observe the room and see if Strange had let something slip, his eyes kept returning to Strange’s fingers steadily drumming against his clipboard. He knew there were cameras recording his every move, but seeing Strange taking down notes made the feeling of being under observation more real somehow, more unnerving. The thought of his torment being recorded with clinical detachment made him feel ill.

“As you know my colleague Dr. Crane is particularly fascinated by fears and phobias – in fact, he helped me concoct that delightful drug you’ve been administered, but I fear his focus is somewhat limited. Destroying an enemy through his fears is intuitive of course, but what about exploiting an enemy’s desires? Destroying them through what they yearn for the most?”

“Fears, desires…what’s the difference? People fear losing what they love most.”

Dick hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He wasn’t sure why he did it. Maybe the days of isolation were finally getting to him and talking to Strange was probably better for his mental health than talking to the phantoms in his head. Besides, he meant what he’d said. For Dick at least his fears and desires were merely two sides of the same coin. To speak about them as if they were two completely different things confused him, but then, Dick had hardly what you would call a normal childhood.

Hugo Strange smiled at that. Despite his constant protestations that he’d much rather be picking at Bruce’s brains it was quite clear that he was enjoying this just as well. Dick thought maybe the lady doth protest too much.

“You’re quite right of course. Certainly your fears and desires are very closely linked, aren’t they? Now tell me, what do you think your mentor would say if he knew the true nature of your feelings for him?”

Dick snorted.

“If you think he’d say anything at all then you don’t know him as well as you think.”

“Mmm, not a man of many words, is he? Quite the opposite of you in fact, you’re positively gregarious. How difficult was it, growing up with the Batman? He’s quite a domineering personality, isn’t he? Is that why you dream of submitting to him? It’s quite understandable really, such formative years…all spent taking orders from him. Were you afraid of him?”

Dick frowned at the question. No, not afraid. Never afraid. He had been just twelve years old then, back when he had first met Bruce and he hadn’t been afraid of him at all. Bruce hadn’t scared him, Bruce had been…kind. He’d understood.

The memories of those early days brought a warm rush of feeling that threatened to engulf him and Dick found to his astonishment that there were tears running down his face. Some distant part of him knew that the drugs were messing with his head, but he couldn’t fight it. Suddenly he was twelve-years old again and he was watching his parents fly towards their death and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“S-someone help. Tony Zucco was here – I saw him. He did something to the ropes, please I know he did please somebody help…”

He was vaguely aware that Strange was trying to bring his attention back to him, but Dick was too far gone into his memories to be brought back. He was breathing too fast and all he could see were his parent’s mangled bodies on the sand.

Where was Batman? Why wasn’t he here? Why didn’t he save them? He was always there, saving people all the time everywhere from out of nowhere like a ghost why wasn’t he there the one time Dick needed him, oh god why wasn’t he there what was he going to do now he had nobody left…

Dick heard a crash. Somewhere out there someone was getting the thrashing of their life, but Dick couldn’t focus. He could still see the way his parents laid spread-eagled on the floor, strange and small like broken dolls.

Suddenly someone grabbed him by the shoulders. The ringing in his ears was too loud and he didn’t even realise that someone was shouting in his face, had been for awhile.

“Dick! Dick, snap out of it!”

It was Batman. Batman was talking to him and shaking his shoulders and all Dick felt was impotent rage rise up from out of his anguish.

“You! Why weren’t you there? Why didn’t you save them? You could have saved them!”

The arms were around him now, drawing him in closer until Dick found himself burying his face in Batman’s chest, still sobbing but there was something familiar about this. Something soothing and reassuring and Dick felt instantly calmed.

“You’re ok, I’ve got you now.” The voice was deep and kind of gravelly. Dick thought maybe he should be scared but he wasn’t. He didn’t know how, but he knew the Batman wouldn’t hurt him. He was here to help, regardless of what the cops said. Batman would help him, he was sure of it.

“I’m sorry Dick.”

Sorry. For some reason that clicked something in Dick’s mind and he was once again set off into panic mode. Sorry. He was desperately sorry about something; something terrible was all his fault and he had to warn Bruce…

Bruce. Strange. It was all rushing back now.

“Bruce – Bruce I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”

“Shh, stop I’ve got you now.”

“Strange knows. Hugo Strange knows who we all are and it’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

“I know. It’ll be ok”

Dick knew he was lying, but for some reason Bruce’s voice always managed to convey such certainty and confidence that Dick found himself half-believing it was true. It would all be ok, somehow.

***

When Dick woke up, he found himself in his old bedroom at Wayne Manor. It was a bit jarring – Dick knew Bruce had left it in case Dick ever needed to come back home; but seeing everything exactly as it was when he had left it at seventeen was a strange and disorientating experience.

Christ, it even smelled like the cologne Dick used to use. He winced as he sat up. Oh god, his head. There was a dull, low-level throbbing in his temples, but other than that he was surprisingly not in as bad a state as he had expected to find himself in.

Bruce was there, sitting by his bedside. Dick didn’t know why that should surprise him as much as he did. He wondered how long he had been sitting there, and the thought that Bruce had held vigil over his bed while he was out cold gave him a warm feeling low in his belly.

“How are you feeling?”

“Not too bad all things considered…how long was I out for?”

“Ten hours. But you should probably stay and rest some more considering your ordeal.”

Something was wrong. There clearly wasn’t anything physically the matter with him but Bruce was as grim as ever.

“So what’s wrong?”

Bruce seemed to watch Dick for a moment. “It’s the drug. It’s not one I’m familiar with, though I’ve been running tests on it all night in the hopes of producing an antidote. You were hallucinating, and I’m not sure what secondary effects the drug might be having. You don’t seem to be displaying any symptoms currently, but I think we should keep you under observation for a couple of days to be sure.”

So that was it. Dick still potentially had traces of the drug in his system, he was probably compromised. Swallowing nervously, Dick gradually worked up the nerve to ask, “Did I say anything? While I was hallucinating?”

Bruce frowned.

“Nothing unusual. Why?”

Dick hesitated.

“Strange kept recordings of me. I don’t know what I might have said, but he seemed to find me hallucinating interesting enough to keep video recordings and notes.”

“I know. I’ve transferred them all onto the computer downstairs.”

Dick froze.

“Oh?”

“I need to know what you might’ve revealed to Strange in your intoxicated state. He now knows Dick Grayson is Nightwing. Which means he knows who the rest of us are. I have to know anything else he might now be aware of.”

The knot in the pit of Dick’s stomach tightened as bits and pieces of his days in captivity floated back into his memory. Hugo Strange had unmasked him. He knew who they were.

All his fault.

“I’m sorry Bruce.” There was nothing else he could say, and yet it was completely inadequate. Sorry. As if ‘sorry’ could keep them safe now that one of their most dangerous enemies knew who they were.

Bruce didn’t attempt to comfort him with empty platitudes. He merely gave Dick’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before saying, “Get some rest.”

Then he left.

***

There were times when Dick thanked god that Bruce kept to a schedule like clock-work. This was one of those times. Despite the guilt he felt at what he was about to do, Dick still found himself making his way towards the cave in the early hours of morning. Objectively, he knew it was wrong – Bruce was right to keep them, but somehow he couldn’t bear it. There was too much there, none of which Bruce should ever have to see. It made Dick’s skin crawl just to think about it. And Hugo Strange had seen it all. Had seen him at his most vulnerable; naked and wanting. Had seen him completely out of his mind and delusional and desperately yearning for something that could never ever happen.

Bruce couldn’t see any of it.

Dick sat at the computer desk, taking in a few deep breaths. It wasn’t exactly like destroying evidence. He could watch them. He could see for himself what he might have revealed during his imprisonment and then report it to Batman. No one else would have to see this footage. As if it wasn’t bad enough that Hugo Strange had witnessed it all, there was no need for Bruce or Tim or anyone to see it too.

It was as he was starting the computer that Dick heard a voice that made him jump out of his skin.

“I thought you might try to erase the files.”

Bruce. Here. He knew. The tension in Dick’s body ratcheted up several notches as he realised what that meant.

“So you’ve watched them.” Dick said, almost casually. He didn’t trust his voice not to crack. Too many thoughts were going through his head, snippets of conversations with Strange that Bruce must’ve seen, flashes of things he’d said and done and he found that his heart was beating way too fast considering he was still sitting down.

“I had to know what you might’ve revealed to Hugo Strange in your drugged state.”

“So you said.” Dick couldn’t keep the bitterness out of his voice this time. Of course Bruce had already watched the videos. He’d probably already watched them before Dick had even woken up. Never mind asking him whether that would be ok or not, it wasn’t like those tapes were a huge violation of his privacy or something.

“I’m sorry.”

That startled Dick. Bruce never apologised for doing something that served their mission, no matter how invasive or fucked up it was. Despite the bitterness he still felt, Dick found himself relenting as he always did where Bruce was involved. Sighing, he said “I know why you did it – I’m still allowed to feel resentful that you saw something that should’ve been private.”

For a moment everything was silent and Dick thought maybe the conversation would end there. Maybe he wouldn’t bring up… the rest of it.

That had been too much to hope for.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of Dick.”

Dick froze. Oh god, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t have this conversation. Everything was fine before when everyone had been happily ignorant; he didn’t think he could bear to have Bruce actually spell out his disinterest in cold hard words…

Only the words that Dick heard weren’t words of disinterest.

“For what it’s worth, you should know that your feelings are…reciprocated.”

Wait – what? The blood in his ears was pounding like a drum, and Dick almost thought he’d heard wrong for a moment. He shuddered and everything felt hot and cold all over. His feelings were reciprocated? What the fuck did that even mean?

Standing up Dick strode right up to where Bruce was standing dressed in full Bat-regalia, his eyes completely inscrutable. No way was Dick going to let go of that one easily – he could barely keep his heart still and the thought that it might mean what he thought it did.

“What feelings Bruce? My feelings of inadequacy? My concern for your well-being?”

Bruce’s lips thinned into a grim line.

“You know.”

They were entering dangerous territory now, but Dick couldn’t stop. Bruce had watched the footage and seen him laid bare and now it was his turn to say what he goddamn felt without hiding behind cryptic words.

“Say it.”

Bruce hesitated, and for one heart-stopping moment Dick thought he’d pushed it too far and had lost him, but then he spoke.

“You’re… a very handsome man, Dick.”

That was as much of an admission as Dick was going to get. Suddenly it seemed very difficult to breathe.

For a moment everything in the bat-cave was still as Dick took the time to process what he’d just heard. Bruce wanted him. That’s what he’d meant, wasn’t it? Bruce wanted him.

Dick didn’t know what to say, he only knew that he had to hear those words again – that the words might as well not mean anything if Bruce was hiding behind the cowl, and in an impulsive gesture that took them both by surprise, Dick pushed the cowl back revealing Bruce’s face.

“Say it again.”

“No,” said Bruce, a bit too fast and slightly distressed. “I should never have said it at all but…I thought you ought to know. It seemed only…fair.”

“Fair?” he laughed bitterly, “I’d hardly call that fair. You’ve seen footage of me jerking off and –” here Dick choked slightly, “calling out your name. Bruce, you’ve barely admitted to anything at all. It’s hardly fair.”

Before Dick could continue, Bruce stopped him.

“In any case, it doesn’t matter,” he said as he started to turn away, “nothing can happen.”

Dick felt a lead ball drop to the pit of his stomach and he couldn’t quite keep the anguish out of his voice when he asked, “Why not?”

“I’m your mentor Dick. I raised you. It’d just be…” Dick watched as Bruce struggled to find the right word, one that wouldn’t hurt so much.

He failed. “It’d just be wrong.”

Though he’d known it was coming, Dick still felt winded by the answer – like he’d been hit with it. Truth was he couldn’t argue with that. It’d be fucked up as all hell, but then what about their life wasn’t at this point? Didn’t they deserve all the snatches of happiness they could get?

“What happened to being partners? Equals?”

“I hate it when you’re like this.”

“What?”

“Deliberately obtuse,” Bruce said, “of course you’re my partner and my equal. You’ve proved yourself a long time ago, I don’t need to tell you that. It doesn’t change the fact that for me to approach you in that way would be… a gross abuse of trust.”

“It’s not if I want you to. Bruce, I’m not Robin anymore. I haven’t been Robin for a long time.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” And there it was again, that strain of torment and self-loathing in Bruce’s voice that made Dick’s heart ache to hear it.

He approached Bruce cautiously until they were so close they were almost touching and placed a hand gently against Bruce’s chest. Bruce stiffened beneath his fingers instantly.

“But I can.”

“What?”

“Bruce…”

“Dick, don’t.”

And for the first time Dick realised that Bruce was scared. That this was just as terrifying for him as it was for Dick.

“Bruce…” Dick hesitated, “if you don’t want me to I won’t. Just…say the word and I’ll go.”

The silence stretched on for several agonizing seconds and just as Dick was about to withdraw his hand he felt Bruce gently grab him by the wrist, forcing him to keep it there.

“You can.”

Dick exhaled a slow sigh of relief, barely able to believe that this was happening and instantly buried his face in Bruce’s expansive chest as he’d done so many times in his dreams. He smelled like Gotham, like sweat and exhaust smoke and Kevlar and Dick thought he’d never smelled anything so good and so familiar and so right in his life.

His arms reached up around Bruce’s neck so that he could tangle his fingers in Bruce’s cowl-matted hair. Bruce looked like he was having trouble breathing himself. Licking his lips, Dick went in for the kill. It started with just the barest brush of lips, Dick could barely believe that he’d ever be allowed this close, that he’d ever be allowed to do this and he gave the smallest moan when he leaned forward to deepen the kiss. Bruce gasped slightly in surprise then hesitantly kissed back, but Dick could feel that he was still retraining himself, that he was still afraid.

So Dick did what he knew best. He’d been Robin after all, a former boy-wonder and if he couldn’t make Bruce crack a smile no one could.

“Come on old man,” he murmured against Bruce’s lips, “at this rate I’m going to die of old age before you ever even touch me.”

Bruce made a snort of disbelief.

“You’re…making fun of me at a time like this?”

“I’d say there’s no better time,” Dick teased. Leaning in closer he said in a more serious tone, “Relax Bruce, it’s just me. I’ve got you, ok? We’re a team. Everything will be ok.”

Dick was lying through his teeth but he so desperately needed this and so desperately needed to believe that it was true and that everything would be ok. This was going to change everything but Dick still had to believe that as far as their bond and their trust went, nothing would ever change.

Sensing that it was going to take a bit more work to get Bruce to loosen up, he hooked his foot behind Bruce’s ankles and pushed him over, tumbling down right alongside him.

“Dick! What –?”

“What happened to constant vigilance?” Dick playfully pinned Bruce’s hands above his head, “A kitty-cat could best you right about now.”

“Is that so?” there a hint of a smirk on Bruce’s lips, the first one all evening, “good thing you’re not a cat.” He moved so fast that in the next instant it was Dick who found himself pinned beneath Bruce’s impressive mass. Instantly Dick retaliated by wrapping his long acrobat legs around Bruce’s waist; then shoved Bruce onto his back. This was familiar territory – something they both knew and both loved. Sparring, training, wrestling – this was something they’d both done a million times before. Play-fighting was always the best and this – this right here right now was the best thing ever. Dick could feel Bruce smiling against his skin as he struggled not to laugh. Very quickly the wrestling took on a distinctly more sensual air, and Dick luxuriated in the feeling of having Bruce’s warm body rubbing against his own. He took playful nips at exposed areas of Bruce’s skin before finally crushing his mouth against Bruce’s.

This time there was nothing holding them back. Bruce groaned into the kiss, pinning Dick down onto the floor as Dick’s hands ran up and down the Bruce’s sides. Oh god this was…better than anything Dick could have ever dreamt up. In his dreams Bruce was always passionate but this was completely different because this was completely real and dream-Bruce was never this eager or desperate, never this hungry for Dick and Dick thought even if this all went to hell it’d be worth it just to have been with Bruce like this and to have seen Bruce like this.

He couldn’t get Bruce out of his uniform fast enough. There was so much of Bruce’s body that Dick had longed to touch and explore, with his hands and his mouth and his tongue. He began by mouthing at Bruce’s neck and gradually made his way down towards Bruce’s chest, nipping gently at his collar bone.

Dick was about to move lower when Bruce stopped him with a gentle push on his shoulder.

“Let me…” he said and before Dick could ask what it was Bruce wanted he had Dick pushed flat-out on his back and began working off Dick’s clothes in earnest. The first touch of Bruce’s lips on his skin sent a jolt of heat through Dick’s body and each successive kiss and touch made warmth pool low in his belly and spread. This was really happening. Bruce was touching him. Dick fought to control himself but try as he might he couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. He was on the floor of the Bat-cave being undressed and thoroughly felt up by Bruce Wayne. Holy crap.

Suddenly Bruce stopped. “You have to tell me if I do anything…just – you must tell me if I’m hurting you in anyway, ok? Or if you’re uncomfortable. Don’t let me hurt you.”

Dick could feel his chest tighten as he brushed the hair out of Bruce’s eyes. “You won’t. I trust you.”

That made Bruce smile; a little sadly perhaps, like he wasn’t entirely sure he deserved Dick’s unswerving loyalty or unquestioning trust. Before Dick could reassure him that it was all ok, Bruce dove down and mouthed at Dick’s chest with renewed vigour, his large hands running over Dick’s body as if he was trying to memorise his form.

To have sex with Bruce Wayne was to be simultaneously worshipped and tormented all at once and Dick wasn’t sure how long he was going to last. There were times when Bruce got lost in the exploration of Dick’s body, like he didn’t believe he’d ever get the chance to feel him like this, to make him moan and feel good like this and that now that he could he was going to explore every inch of skin and extract every helpless murmur of pleasure from Dick that he could – in that very intense way Bruce had about doing things.

And then there were other times when Bruce seemed to take pleasure in playfully teasing Dick, nipping at his thighs or hip-bones and blatantly ignoring Dick’s straining erection even though Dick had his hands fisted desperately through Bruce’s hair, desperately murmuring half-whispered pleas and supplications for Bruce to get on with it already. Bruce smirked, enjoying Dick’s display too well to want to put an end to it.

When Bruce finally got around to taking Dick in his mouth it was pretty much all over pretty quickly. Embarrassingly quickly actually, but considering they’d just lived out a fantasy Dick had been having since he was fifteen he figured he was allowed to be a bit gauche. Besides, it was kind of worth it to see Bruce smile like he was really kind of proud of himself but wasn’t going to say anything. Dick kissed Bruce hard, too happy about the fact that they were here together and that this was really happening to be embarrassed for too long.

Besides, there were other fantasies that Dick had been dying to live out.

Pushing Bruce up onto his knees, Dick leaned down and made quick work of Bruce’s belt and fly.

“You don’t have to…” Bruce started, but Dick only smiled and shook his head.

“I want to.” Dick had to laugh slightly at the absurdity of the situation. He’d only been wanting to suck Bruce off for years and now he was down on all fours having to explain it to him.

“You have no idea how often I’ve thought about doing this. How much I’ve wanted to.”

That shut Bruce up pretty quickly. Dick was too considerate to make fun of the super-endearing flush on Bruce’s face. Instead he took Bruce into his mouth with both hands, wetly kissing the tip before running his tongue along the sensitive underside.

Bruce groaned, his hands tightening in Dick’s hair. Immediately he tried to get a grip on himself and almost apologetically cupped the side of Dick’s face with his large hand, thumb softly stroking over his cheekbone. It made Dick give a small hum of pleasure and he began sucking with renewed enthusiasm.

Though Bruce held out slightly better than Dick did, it was all over pretty quickly. Dick couldn’t blame him. They’d both wanted this for so long and now it was finally happening and it was all just too much – later, thought Dick, later they’d take their time and take it slow. He tried not to dwell too much on the fact that he wasn’t entirely sure whether there would be a later or not.

Dick wiped his lips with the back of his hand, but before he could say anything he was pushed back on the floor and being kissed very hard by Bruce.

“You’re amazing,” Bruce murmured into Dick’s skin. Dick had always wanted to hear Bruce say those words – though he couldn’t say he imagined he’d ever hear them in this context. He couldn’t stop smiling like a fool. That was…amazing. Amazing was definitely the right word for it.

Shifting slightly, Bruce said “I’m sorry…about earlier.”

Dick felt his spirits drop. Oh. That. The tapes.

“Let’s not talk about it,” he said, but Bruce had other plans.

“I didn’t know what I would find. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

That made Dick smile somewhat cynically.

“World’s greatest detective, huh?” he joked. Bruce was silent for a moment and Dick sense he was going to say something more, but that he was hesitant – that he wasn’t entirely sure if he should be saying anything at all.

“You were sixteen…I’d noticed that you’d taken a bit of a shine to me. As more than just a mentor, I mean. I thought it was just a phase.”

Oh. He’d known. All this time. Of course he’d known; he was the world’s greatest detective.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you knew.”

Bruce smiled a little.

“You didn’t really get much chance to spend time with people your own age and what with me being your mentor…I could see how it could’ve developed. I thought it was a phase. Then you met Kory and you were with Babs – I thought you were over it.”

Dick sighed, uncertain of how to phrase this. Bruce wasn’t wrong – as Robin he’d had the biggest hero-worship-y crush on the man imaginable. How could he not? He was strong, he was handsome, he was the smartest person Dick had ever met and he was Dick’s actual real-life hero. But it became more than that. As Nightwing – and as an adult – he saw Bruce for what he was: a very flawed, but very brave and incredibly compassionate man who couldn’t communicate affection to save his life. A man with whom he’d been through hell with, and back. A man that knew Dick better than sometimes Dick even knew himself. His mentor. His partner.

Dick didn’t even know what to say.

“Bruce, you’re the best person I know…I trust you with my life. It was never just a phase.”

Bruce smiled a little ruefully as he ran his hands down Dick’s sides.

“You really could do better, you know.”

“Bruce – that’s ridiculous, I – I don’t want anyone better, I love you so much.”

Oh crap, he hadn’t meant to say it quite like that. That had been way too intense. In an attempt to save the situation Dick tried to make a joke of it, but as he turned to look at Bruce he was stunned into silence by just how moved he looked. Like he didn’t quite believe Dick was real and that Dick was there with him.

Before Dick could say anything else Bruce whispered, “I love you too.”

It made Dick swallow a little thickly and kiss Bruce’s forehead as he stroked Bruce’s sweat-matted hair. He liked the weight of Bruce’s head on his chest and he thought it was probably a good thing that Bruce couldn’t see his face right then. He’d always been an open-book emotionally but he wasn’t sure he was ready for Bruce to know the depth and intensity of his feelings for him, of just how much he’d give up to be able to be like this with him all the time and to hear him say those words again.

They stayed like that for a while, content to lie in each other’s arms and quietly explore each other’s scars with the tips of their fingers, occasionally also with their lips.

It was Dick who finally brought their comfortable silence to an end.

“We should probably move before Tim or Damian finds us.”

Bruce grunted in agreement but didn’t move.

After awhile he said, “They won’t be down here for another couple of hours. We can stay here a little bit longer.”

Dick smiled a little at that. He could hear the unspoken request for what it was, and after all, Dick had never been one to refuse Bruce anything. This was going to be an absolute train-wreck of a disaster, Dick could tell. Dick had always been in too deep where Bruce was concerned anyway – in that respect nothing had changed, but now Dick had somehow managed to drag Bruce down with him and he could only hope they didn’t both end up drowning in the tidal wave of emotions and complications that was headed their way.

“What are we going to do about Strange?” Dick asked.

Bruce brooded for a moment before answering.

“He’s in solitary confinement at Arkham right now. I’ll get in touch with J’onn and see if we can’t pay him a visit.”

Dick nodded and contented himself with spending the next few hours in Bruce’s arms. There was no guarantee on this lasting, he knew that. Bruce would have a crisis at some point and probably push him away the way he always did when he got too close, but right there right then? That was all Dick had for sure and he wasn’t planning on letting it go for the world.


End file.
